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Monday, July 12, 2004

 

My Cousin Jonathan Rememberances, copy and pasted here

Wednesday, June 23, 2004
Wow. Check out this blog about a Baal Teshuvah. Baaltshuvah
This guy is going to change his last name because his last name doesn't sound Jewish and its not going to help him in the shidduch process. Jonathan also changed his last name. Not legally. But he started telling all the matchmakers his name was "Alias". Of course, his name is "Alliel", a perfectly good Jewish-Sephardic name. But it didn't work well in the hasidic community and so he needed to change it. He told many many matchmakers this new name. Even one's he had met with his old name, he just called up and told them he was someone else. They speak to so many people he said they didn't even notice.

He also had to make up a pedigree, which was a half truth. Something about his grandfather being a hasidic rabbi, which may or may not have been true. Anyway, he did have grandparents from Russia (that's how i'm related to him).

Good luck to Moyshe. I hope it all works out better for you!


// posted by deborah @ 8:03 PM (0) comments
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Tuesday, June 22, 2004
June 21, 2004. Yesterday.
Yesterday was Jonathan's birthday. He would have been 26. Miki listened to his favorite music. I went shopping. Joni and I used to shop together.

Its been 3 years since his death. I'm still grieving. I'm still getting calls from the "Kosher Gym" in Brooklyn. NO. He does not want to continue his membership. He killed himself.

Its been 3 years. His mom recently passed away. Whatever her medical condition (ovarian cancer). I think she died of a broken heart. She was in her 50s.

Last night my husband and I discussed the things that joni used to do to make us laugh. He had a dark sense of humor.

I'm still grieving.

// posted by deborah @ 3:09 PM (0) comments
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Wednesday, March 17, 2004
I'd like to suggest a book. "Chosen by God a brother's journey" by Joshua Hammer.
Jewishfamily.com || Culture

// posted by deborah @ 1:33 AM
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Monday, February 09, 2004
Every day something reminds me of Jonathan. A movie, a hasid on the street, a song. I recently saw the movie "The Believer." The plot follows a yeshiva boy gone (quite) astray--in fact, so off-course that the boy grows into a neo-Nazi and then commits suicide inside of a synagogue. In the end, protagonist becomes as Jewish as he can, goes to shul on Yom Kippur, and blows himself up. I see a parallel between that movie and what Joni did. He got a Jewish as he could. He became a Hasid, and then hung himself, in his apartment in Brooklyn, with his gartel.
May he rest in peace.

// posted by deborah @ 12:29 PM
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Monday, October 13, 2003
I really like reading this blog - Only in Israel . Its a blog that bills itself as - "Presenting thoughts of an 18 y/o with waaaaay too much time on his hands." Here is a boy who is in the IDF discussing his thoughts about being in the army and in basic training. He says, "The last month made me feel like a real fighter, other than learning to throw granades, we practiced shooting in various forms, kneeling, lying down, standing, at night, at day."

I like reading this blog but it is also very painful. Its painful that our world needs to have this army to protect Israel and that there doesn't seem to be a way to find peace.

I remember when my cousin Miki was in the army. I found that experience very painful. but I was also very proud of him. I used to joke that Miki was in his uniform (IDF) and Jonathan was in his (Hasidic Garb).

// posted by deborah @ 9:59 PM
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Friday, October 10, 2003
I just saw this:

Hasidic News http://hasidicnews.com/FAQ/FAQ.htm#20

What is the Hasidic attitude towards "Baalei Teshuva" and converts?
Hasidim, like the rest of the Orthodox community strongly discourage people from converting to Judaism. This is according to the Talmudic law. They do, however, encourage Jews who have wandered astray to "return". Chabad is famous for being intimately involved in reaching out to worldwide Jewry, making them aware of their heritage and trying to bring them closer to Orthodox observance, although they will certainly feel immensely satisfied from even a single act of Tefillin. Other Hasidic communities will definitely readily accept any returnee; yet, it would be very hard if at all possible for any non-Hasid-born, let alone non-observant born person to effectively absorb in the Hasidic community.

HA! no kidding. Jonathan was just trying to change that.

// posted by deborah @ 1:30 PM
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Thursday, October 09, 2003
Jonathan arrived in New York on July 26, 1999. He entered the USA with a French passport and visa waiver for three months. Jonathan's father is a French citizen who made aliya (moved to Israel) in the seventies. Jonathan was Israeli. He was also a French citizen. Obtaining a visa to enter the United States is difficult for an Israeli. That is why he used his French passport.

Jonathan was allowed to stay in the USA for 90 days. He had 90 days to either get married or leave. He had "Plan A" and "Plan "B. Plan A was to get married and go back to Israel with his wife. He also had a fantasy about taking his wife and going to medical school in France. That was part of Plan A. "Plan B" was his suicide.

Jonathan did not want to be in the United States illegally. He never wanted to do anything that was illegal. After three months he was still in New York and still not married. He wanted to figure out a way that he could stay here, legally. He thought that all he had to do was leave the country and then return. He developed a plan in which he would go to Canada for a day and turn around and come back. He needed help with this plan, and I was always there to help him. As crazy as any of it seemed to me.

I have a friend, a Gentile, named Mary. Mary lives in upstate New York, somewhat near the Canadian border. I met Mary in College and we were good friends for many years. I'm not really sure what happened but by 1999 we hadn't spoken for a few years.

Mary grew up in a small town near Plattsburg New York. I think I was the first Jewish person that Mary ever met. In college we became great friends. Since Mary lived near the Canadian border I enlisted her help in Jonathan's trip across the border.

I called her to explain the predicament. Mary was happy to help. She advised us that you have to leave for two weeks and then return. Jonathan thought he could cross the border and then just come right back. She advised us to call the border police to see if this was a viable plan. The border police told me that he would not be allowed back for two weeks. Jonathan had a friend who said he left and came and it was fine. Jonathan wanted to try. Mary said she would help.

There was a bus from Port Authority to Plattsburgh. Mary was going to pick Jonathan up at the bus stop and drive him across the border and back. He was going to stay one night at Mary's house - where she lives with her husband and her elderly mother.

So I told Mary about Jonathan's peculiarities. Do not touch Jonathan. Jonathan would bring his own kosher food (anyway, he never ate much). He liked to drink Coke. And I explained about the Hasidic clothes. I don't know if she ever saw a Hasid before, unless she saw the movie, "A Stranger Among Us." Mary, my dear friend, was willing to go along with it.

The bus left Port Authority early in the morning. Jonathan was going to call me from the bus station to tell me that he was on his way so that I could alert Mary. I was waiting for his call. But I didn't hear from him until late at night.

What happened to Jonathan on the night before he was supposed to go to Canada?

Jonathan was still living with the Sheingarten's. He was standing at the top of the stairs and he just collapsed. He landed at the bottom of the stairs and he was in a lot of pain. At first, the Sheingarten's were annoyed with him. What an inconvenience to have a nebuch at the bottom of the stairs! But they called Hatzalah (the Jewish ambulance) anyway. He was taken to the Hospital for Joint Diseases in New York. He broke his leg and it was put in a cast and he was given crutches. He was in that cast for six weeks.

Jonathan never made it to Canada. We also realized that he was supposed to leave the country after 90 days. We had thought it was three months. The day he was planning on going was actually one day too late anyway.

So he remained in New York illegally (as many immigrants do) until June 14, 2001 when his dead body was shipped back to Netanya.

I would like to thank Mary for her willingness to help, even though she thought he might get stuck in Canada.

And I'd like to thank Jonathan. If it weren't for him I would not have called my friend Mary again. Since that time we have been in touch again. We speak on the phone, we send email and we even spent a vacation together. That is another one of the good things Jonathan left me with -- my renewed friendship with Mary. Jonathan, if you have access to this blog, know that I am thanking you.

// posted by deborah @ 8:30 PM

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